When it's not feeling hectic and crazy, it is so fun to watch all three of my kids play soccer. This is Mason's first crack at it and he is a natural. 'Bout time all that energy got used to some productive purpose. Today was his second game and he scored four goals. He also put a mean block on the other team's striker just before the boy pegged a goal. Since he is in clinic, his team is co-ed. It really is a remarkable thing to watch the difference in the play of boys and girls.
Collin had a make-up game on Friday night, so we all went. (We've been splitting up on the weekends and I hadn't seen him play yet this season.) He has quite a nice, competitive soccer team. It was great fun to watch, especially since we won. The difference between boys playing and girls playing is very noticeable. The boys are so aggressive, so serious. They mean to make that goal, they are faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive.
I'm not on point of lumping all boys as warriors and all girls as nurturers. I'm sure I can point out a number of cautious, tender boys and a few blazing, blustering girls. And every team has it's variations in players. Still - on the whole, the boys play harder. There's a part of boys in which it is all about the conquest, the win, the beating of the opponent, the victory. Sure, girls like to win, too, but it doesn't have that desperate edge, that necessary quality.
My daughter played today, and they smoked the competition, too. It was a great game. But, there are the differences, all you have to do is look. A girl kicks another girl and looks stricken with remorse. Boys step on the opponent's head and never look back. Mason plowed an opposing player in his game. When he came off the field, he smiled and said, "I think I almost broke his arm!" Because I'm a girl, I was shocked and said, "And you should have said you were sorry, too!" Dad wasn't there, but I think if he had been, there would have been hi-fives involved.
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I have a 9 year old girl I'd love your son to meet. :-) She plays soccer too. You are observant, and correct, her natural inclination is not the same desperate drive to win that I have, though I notice it missing in some of her male teammates as well. I am told that when I am not there she does not play the same. So maybe she has a desperate desire to please daddy...I don't know. What I do know is, when I am there, at least once or twice a game some parent jumps up with their hand over the mouth because my daughter just damn near knocked their son unconscious on the field... and she runs past the sidelines smiling, gives me a thumbs up and keeps on rolling.
Laura plays defense most of the time, as did her father. Neither of us possessing blazing speed. I have taught her over the years to take every goal as a personal insult, to view anyone coming toward her with the ball as someone who means to do her harm. I have encouraged and trained her to play right up to the limit of the rules, and that side from fair play winning is the most important thing.
Last season someone kicked a ball from about 5 feet away, and it hit her flush in the face. She covered her face and I saw her knees start to wobble. I jumped up and hollered from the sidelines, "Laura!" She opened her hands and looked at me. I said, "You're alright". She wiped the tears away, waved the coach off an went back to playing.
In the end, I am trying to save her time. My point to her is many fold, and I believe valuable.
Sometimes life hurts, but you have to keep going.
Play by the rules, don't cheat, don't lie, respect the game... and crush your enemies.
Anyone who doesn't want you to win is an enemy.
And the lesson I try to teach both my girls, even her fashion model/actress sister who is more interested in purses and berets than soccer balls. Which is, you do not have to be a man to be anything you want to be in this life; and you do not have to have a man to get anything you want to in this life. Feminine is fine, and desirable. Dainty, weak and dependent is not.
Some people think I'm crazy, others say the girls are lucky to have me. Time will tell I guess.
Doug
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