I would say that most happy, lasting marriages are not truly founded in unconditional love. It would not be true to say that I would stay married no matter what, that nothing Kelly could do or become could thwart my love for him. I'm just guessing, but I think it's true from his end, too. Yes, True love is long-suffering and tolerant; it doesn't look for a reason to part company. And yes, there is an element of choosing to stay married. But still. Unconditional love? I don't even think that is healthy, let alone practical.
If my husband smacked me around, drained the bank account to buy a boat, was cruel to the kids, kicked the dog and didn't go to work, would I stay? No. I would not. If I took a job as a stripper, left the kids alone while I partied, stayed mysteriously away from home on occasion, failed to buy food and couldn't explain all those calls on my cell phone, would he stay? No. He would not. I would even hope that he respected himself better than to subject himself and our kids to such a life.
Now, if we want to talk tolerant love, okay, I'm in. You stay with your mate even if they never put their clean clothes away, leave the suitcase in the hall for a month after a trip, bring the car home with the tank on E and forget to take out the recycling. Although that suitcase-in-the-hall thing is really annoying. But, yeah, you stay.
Today's dare still works fine, even if you question unconditional love. This is the Dare:
Do something out of the ordinary today, something that proves to you and to them that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car, clean the kitchen, buy his favorite dessert, fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
What do you think, dear readers? Do you love your spouse unconditionally? Do you think that is the ideal?
3 comments:
I think "unconditional" love is possible. But "love" does not necessarily mean "staying." It may mean setting boundaries and even giving consequences, as God does for us sometimes, in His (unconditional) love. I'm not even sure "love" means "acceptance of behavior."
Laurel, interesting distinction - love doesn't necessarily mean staying. Personally, I think if treated the way I described, I would "fall out of love" with my husband, which I don't consider a bad thing. In other words, I don't think it benefits anyone to continue to love someone who is unacceptable and needs to be out of your life. Parental love is probably the closest to unconditional that we mere mortals experience, but there are still some adult children out there that I think I would no longer love if they were my own.
Hmmm. good thoughts...still pondering. {grin}
Post a Comment